Lessons in Financial Management: New Money Management Discoveries | GUEST COMMUNITY BLOG
Contributed by D.M. of the Metro Caring community as part of a series on learning financial management.
The skills of money management have the same general concept as house hunting or planning a vacation. Nobody is perfect and nobody has all the answers. The most important thing to know is what you feel comfortable with and what works for you.
I like the book by Elizabeth Warren and her daughter, Amanda Warren Tyagi, titled All Your Worth. The women talk about managing money but not on a starvation diet, that it's healthy to set aside a percentage of your budget for fun because even when poor, your money is there to provide for your needs, your enjoyment of life. But for me, I still struggled with being able to divide my budget into many sections. That awful anxiety is still hard for me.
Another book I enjoyed was Where Did the Money Go? by Ellen Rohr. I liked the easygoing approach with occasional humor and the depiction of characters who were just as confused as me. I also appreciated, just like the first book, the reminders that my money was meant for my goals, my benefit, and my enjoyment. With time and practice, I was learning to accept that money management wasn't all smoke and mirrors. But I would be struggling with a sense of powerlessness over my life for several years more.
Out of a nagging sense of curiosity, I tried many other resources. A credit union I was a member of offered a budget analysis, but the guy who asked questions didn't listen to my answers and concluded the analysis with statements that didn't reflect my reality. I felt more powerless than before. Other resources were more valuable like websites that offered free ideas of how to pinch pennies, like The Penny Hoarder and Credit Karma.
Sometimes I just ask my creditors for advice. If you have a fair and ethical creditor, you can trust them to help.
From all of these, I learned a few rules to carry with me everywhere:
It must meet my needs. If I felt anxious, helpless, and confused, then it wasn't going to provide me insight. It had to be simple and couldn't add to my stress.
Emotional spending was taking away too much from everything else. My debt was more than I could pay off in a couple years and the interest was going to add to the cost of the debt, more so with every month. And I have a home that needs many repairs. My money wasn't just for my emotional spending—it had to provide for other things like my emotional support animals, prescription medication, and transportation costs.
I must have money that is mine, for my future, for the upkeep of my home, for the ability to care for my animals, my tiny family, for old age, for the ability to travel and enjoy myself. I want a future without debt.
This was my responsibility. This overwhelming debt was my problem and every time I imagined the future, I felt fear, a churning of my gut, an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. But I am paying it off and after a lifetime of anxiety, my sense of helplessness is not going to stop me.
It's tough to conquer—mental health issues that can cripple anyone's ability to function, to work, even to maintain independence. But I am. And I know that other people, maybe you, struggle with panic, math phobia, even an overwhelming sense of powerlessness around managing your life. But there are many ways to manage your money, and I am beating my math panic with a variety of skills so hang out with me and you might find skills that are accessible to you as well. I promise it's possible.